25/3/11
The gap between the person I am
and the person I want to be
is gaping like the
old scar I just reopened,

I can see the place but it’s awful cloudy,
I can feel the hands starting to cover my eyes,
I can feel the blood rushing faster.

I just want to be something that
is not this empty suffering shell
that just keeps it’s mouth
stapled shut, how this hurts,

When I do speak I rip open the staples,
And the blood just starts rushing in a different place,
Oh, God, all this blood is just making me dizzy.

The gap between the person I am
and the person I will never be
is gaping like the
cut I just made,

You better call the hospital,
I better get stitches,
You better call the doctor,
I better be watched.

Oh God, all this blood is hurting my head.

I just want to be a person who deserves to live,
I just want to be the person I see in my mind,
I just want to be the person who wants to live,
I just want to be a person who is unashamed
of their past and unafraid of their future,

Oh, God get me out of this sick body,
this sick mind is like poison,

Oh god, the blood gushing out of my mouth
like the truth it stains your hands and you’ll
never forget the day you held me,
Oh God, the pain gushing out of my wrist
like the fear it stains your mind and you’ll
never forget the day you held me,

The day I realised the gap was too,
It’s like reaching from the ocean floor
to outer space and no-one has that much patience,
And I’ve stopped growing,
It’s like reaching from the ocean floor
to outer space and I have stopped growing
and I’ve lost all my patience.