Addiction

1/2/11
There is a war in my throat,
The bile versus the drink,
Up or down? Down or up?
Let’s go up, then down
and repeat. Get it out now
to just get it back in.

Addictions aren’t meant to make sense.

My entire mouth is a desert,
The roof like sandpaper,
Waiting for the drought
to end, when it rains
here it storms. A thunderclap
as my head hits the table.

Addictions are more than a weakness.

A hazy roof greets me upon waking,
My body is so much more than shaking,
Can I stand? Can I walk? I check
I am okay, I survived another day of this
harsh treatment,
And relief washes through as I fill
my throat with victory and let the cycle begin again.

There is a war in my throat,
The bile versus the drink,
Up or down? Down or up?
Let’s go up, then down
and repeat. Get it out now
to just get it back in.

Addiction is an impatient desert.