15-11-09

I sunk through every lie
To the core where you held me
to every word and I held you to
yours, not knowing you were spinning
a web around me the whole time.

Like a snap of the fingers,
The light went on and I could see
every little mark in this intricate
pattern you had created around me
and for a minute it was beautiful.

Every night we lied to each other
and we each thought the other
was buying every line but you were
reading my journals and I was talking
to your friends and we were getting home
just to exchange fake smiles and touches.

You’re trying to yell at me
For doing everything that you did to
me too and I’m nodding but saying
“then you’re admitting you were in the wrong too”
but you’re shaking your head.

“It’s different” you say,
But I can’t really see how – lights out,
“I touched them out of loneliness,
And you touched her with love,
I touched them ‘cause you weren’t
here even when you were next to me”,
And I cut you off, “It doesn’t matter,
she doesn’t want me anyway”
I see the tears emerge at the corners
of your blue eyes and I’m lying to myself
as well, but you already know that.

Every night we lied to each other
and we each thought the other
was buying every line but you could
smell my clothes, my breath and I heard
what you were becoming at every party,
It was impossible to escape.

And you say “It’s over”,
And I’ve begged away my breath
with strums and songs – words
are not enough this time and just
as you reach the door, you turn…

And whisper, “my eyes aren’t blue,
and the stupid thing is we both end up alone,
‘cause she doesn’t love you like you love her,
she doesn’t love you like I love you and you don’t
love me like you love her. We all end up alone.”