24-11-09
I am picking at all my scars
to ensure that they all last -
reflect the fissures in my heart.
I am picking at every scar
to ensure that they all last -
so my outsides can slightly resemble
my insides, my hurting heart.

I got loose bits of skin and dried blood
all stuck up and under my nails, feels
a bit grotty but the razor holds more
than my nails and anyway, it acts as some
kind of sign so I know all this suffering
is real, isn’t just some sick show inside
my head.

I doubt myself every day and I second guess
every decision that I make and I still make
an unusual amount of mistakes but I think
I crave just stuffing up ‘cause I’m not sure
how normal is, what normal is, I can’t
trace the letters quite straight or find
the words at all.
I will pick at all my scars
to ensure that they all last
just as long as the ones inside.
I will play with all my scars
to ensure that they all last
I will make them bleed again,
light up my skin like the stars.
I will pick each and every scar
so my skin can slightly resemble
all the fissures inside this heart.