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4-09-09

Good evening ladies and gents,
And take your seats won’t you please?
And take an ear and turn it this way,
Won’t you grant me just an ear tonight?
Let me just get this microphone nice and quiet.

I’m fading into the background of this life,
I am fading into the background of this night.
With the music and lyrics I’m listening to,
I am just another angst-filled teenager.
Except in a few months I will be twenty,
And I am finding that so depressing,
As I’ve been vowing to end this all before
my next birthday since I was fifteen.
Now they don’t take me seriously,
I guess I cried “suicide” one too many times.

Intermission, ladies and gents,
Free to leave or get a beer if you please,
some spirits would calm these nerves,
But well we all know how that story ends,
Just a little, just a little sip won’t hurt.

Well, ladies and gents I’m back,
I do hope you enjoyed the first act,
You see how red these curtains are?
Do you think my blood matches?
Do you think your blood matches?
The ramblings of a sip are sitting on
these lips, but it might’ve been a few,
You see I’ve nerves like a puppet
that suddenly finds it strings cut,
Now how do I act? Hell, I cannot act.

I see some of you leaving,
Were you hoping for a happy tune?
Or can you see the unhappy ending
coming your way, well leave,
if you please, just promise me,
you won’t go ahead and sell yourself
to that man that grips your hand,
and pulls you away, I know
you’re wide awake to the state
this world is threatening.

And I see your eyes look into mine,
And I thought I saw understanding there,
In a crowd of confused faces, flinches and
creased skin and open mouths, and ladies
and gents, won’t you quiet down? I’m not
quite done. Ahem. Ahem. Ladies and gents,
won’t you please calm down? I’m nearly
done now. I saw her eyes lock on mine,
And I know she knows but she still
left giggling with him and I saw his eyes
lock on mine and watch her greedily,
As he watched me watch her longingly.

And ladies and gents, last act, last scene,
This is just a move for a magazine.
Go ahead, go ahead, shake yourself around
the dancefloor, one-step, two-step,
Lower those straps and smile at the camera’s,
Smile that smile at the media,
And dance to songs you don’t know the meaning of,
And at the end of the night you crawl away,
You crawl away.

‘Cause I cannot take a world like this,
I cannot let a word like this live
for newborns and the unborn,
I reach into my pocket for my next trick,
I pull out a handkerchief with a grin,
I make it disappear so easily, the easiest
I’ve ever disappeared, how?
Nobody was even watching, nobody
was ever watching. It’s so easy
to disappear when there’s not a single face
in the crowd turned your way, sneak away.

But I couldn’t stay away from a room of fakes.
I knew a mission was thumping in my head.
I couldn’t let a room of fakes carry on.
So I carried in…

I slipped the safety slide off,
I pulled the heaviness from my pocket,
I poured my soul into the chamber,
And it was more than enough
to blow them all away,
No-one was ever really listening,
But, boy, did they run.
But boy, did they sprint and trip,
Some of them were even sick,
And I just stood with my eyes closed…


And when I opened them I reminded myself,
‘Hey this is just the rehearsal to an empty room’
And with the barrel to my temple,
‘It’s so easy to disappear in an empty room’
And with the barrel to my temple,
And my other hand resting so gently on the floor,
I rehearsed my speech of truth and I found it too hard
to say to an empty room, so how could I ever?
How could I ever sing to a crowded hall?
So with the barrel to my temple,
I scream ‘It’s so easy to disappear when no-ones
paying attention’ bang, thud, fast footsteps.