One size fits all.

30-9-09

Life is supposed to be
one size fits all,
But life doesn’t fit me at all.
My sleeves cover my hands,
And my jeans drag through the earth,
And everything I pick up sticks
and sticks to my ankles and climbs
it’s way up my legs, up my chest,
and pierces me like an arrow.

Life is supposed to be
one size fits all,
But life doesn’t fit me at all.
I’m buried, flailing under this,
I’m crawling, crying under this with tears,
Tears that turn the dirt to mud,
And the mud just sticks everything
to my chest and I can hardly breathe,
and the grains are in my throat.

With this in my hand, I can’t move on,
With this clasped in my heart, I can’t move on,
I can’t reach all those hands that aren’t reaching for me,
‘Cause I just never even bothered screaming,
So I flail alone, just trying to crawl out.
So I flail alone, just trying to let myself drown.
But the mud makes its way down my throat,
Clasps my heart with guilt and my arms push it all away,
And I just stand again…stand again…stand again…
Push it all away…stand again, like it’s just another day.

Guilt fits my hand like a glove,
For a while ‘til it forces this hand
around my neck, I’m suffocating.
Life is meant to fit all,
But it never fit me at all.

I’ve just got life fighting guilt,
And guilt fighting life,
And life and guilt – the final round is just raging
in my hand – with a kitchen knife,
in my head – those loud voices,
in my stomach – acid bubbles,
in my heart - …