Judgement day

Judgment Day.

On judgment day I know in which direction
I will fall, the opposite to angels, to you,
my perfect angel. In life, I could never
match your stride. You were always twenty
or so paces ahead and I was always twenty
paces or so behind and the pounding in your head
could never quite match the volume of the pounding
in mine. So instead, in death, I try.

Our noses collided before our lips;
You had all the innocence that I –unwillingly –lacked
And I, everything you had yet to discover.
However, I fear the secrets I whispered in your ear
Corrupted you beyond the supposed forces of the world -
the world most know unless their doors have seen
the invisible, the destructive beings only talked about
in stories in hushed voices, in paragraphs of ‘that
will never happen to me’ but it did happen to me.
So I happened to you and took you there
But you wouldn’t, couldn’t stay – your soul held
too much innocence, too much hope for such a place,
And so we separated – lips first, then noses, then eyes closed
you ran blindly but healthy.

I could never quite catch you in life,
And I knew where you would go in death,
There was one immense flaw in my plan –
I forgot that suicide, in religion, is a crime,
And now I’ll spend my death in between fires,
As far away from you in death as I always was
in life - I’ll spend my never-passing time lying
on my back, staring at the brightest star in the sky,
I’d recognize that shine anywhere.